lost in my own mind-edward

Chapter (something)

What the bloody hell is happening to me? I’M TOTALLY useless, and utterly depressed. What a funny thought. A depressed vampire-funny had the case not been the present- as if I could move my muscles, as if I could blink.

My mind seems to be the only part of my body that has remained working at full speed. I had been able to go numb for quite some time, but I don’t know how I did that so I can't go back.

I haven’t moved in two weeks and I don’t plan to do so.

I’m sitting on a sofa in front of the TV, which I never turned on. The lights are out. The curtains closed. I’m in complete darkness, and yet I can see as if the sun were at my shoulder. All I see is her face, her blushed cheeks, her chocolate hair and I can almost feel her scent filling my willing nostrils-not as a memory- I can feel it revolving around my body, tightening my unmoving muscles.

The mere memory- or as you wish to call it-of her scent makes my throat burst into flames. However my body recoils from the mere thought of tasting her blood again. So I remain as I always have been; still.

The idiotic cleaning lady keeps pounding on the door. That was what arose me from my inner darkness/numbness/coma. I can't even find the right words. I give up.

Her scent was what ripped me from my inert state. A human. I can hear her pulse racing as her frustration takes over her. I shall not be moved.

I will not open the door. I will not kill her, nor will I rip her throat and feast on her warm thick blood. I won’t, but I want to. So bloody much. My eyes have turned to their dark selves. It has been two weeks since my cannibal act. Mind over matter and the lady survives another day. In this case mind over the dimwitted lady with the appealing blood that cannot follow rules and insists on worrying about my health.